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Our Research on Love Languages

In 1992, Gary Chapman authored  The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. According to an article published in the Journal of Communication Research Reports by Dr. Nicole Egbert and Denise Polk in 2006, his thesis was based on the concept of a “ love tank”. He suggested that each partner should fill the other's love tank by learning how to speak their love language. This act will enhance the quality of their relationship.

 

Unfortunately, there has not been much research on Chapman’s (1992) love language theory.

The Love Language Profile was written by Chapman in 2015 and has been used to assess the ways individuals communicate and express their love in relationships. 

 

Researchers Jennifer L. Hughes and colleagues in the Department of Psychology at Agnes Scott College conducted research on the link between the use of love languages in relationships to the satisfaction of people in the relationship. They found that those who perceived being loved via their preferred love language experienced more relationship satisfaction. This study adds validity to the newer research done by Chapman.

 

In 2015, Chapman stated that the main reason some relationships have problems is that the people in the relationship have different love languages. If the people in the relationship want effective communication and satisfaction, each person must learn the love language of the other. The five love languages outlined by Chapman are as follows:

 

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

 

Words of Affirmation- People want to be appreciated and verbal expressions of their partner's appreciation are crucial. This love language can get down to specifics such as what tone to use when showing appreciation and how to make requests. Those who do not shy away from attention may also like it when their partner compliments them in public. Expressing the love and admiration one has for their partner in front of others can make their partner feel even more loved and affirmed than it would if it was stated in private.

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Quality Time- According to Chapman (2015) this love language can be defined as giving a partner attention and focusing on what they are doing together. People with this love language are those who silence their phones or place them face down when they are speaking to the one they love. When receiving the undivided attention of their partner, one may feel as if they are sharing the moment together. Additionally, a person who has the love language of quality time also values quality conversations. Quality conversations refer to conversations when parties can share their experiences, emotions, and deep thoughts without being disrupted. Feeling heard and understood by their partner is crucial when it comes to feeling loved.


 

Receiving Gifts- This love language is one that transcends cultures. Giving and receiving gifts signifies that one is investing in the relationship. The gifts given and received do not have to be purchased. For some people, it is important that the gift is a tangible and well-thought-out symbol of love.


 

Acts of Service- This love language includes a partner doing something they know the other might want them to do. Activities that fall into this category can be household chores as well as helping a partner complete a project. If these activities are done with enthusiasm and required planning, they can be perceived as expressions of love. This is because it shows that one partner was thinking of another and was willing to add more to their plate in order to make their partner lighter.

 

Physical Touch- Physical touch can include hugging, kissing, or sexual acts. The key is learning the type of touch that is wanted. In order to commit these acts, you must be in close proximity to your partner. Putting yourself in their intimate space and them allowing you to be in their personal space speaks to the comfortability of the people in question.

Physical touch is a powerful way to show love.

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Sources:

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 Hughes, J. L., & Camden, A. A. (2020). Using Chapman’s Five Love Languages Theory to Predict Love and Relationship Satisfaction. Psi Chi Journal of Psychological Research, 25, 234–244. https://doi-org.proxy.library.kent.edu/10.24839/2325-7342.JN25.3.234

 

Nichole Egbert & Denise Polk (2006) Speaking the Language of Relational Maintenance: A Validity Test of Chapman's () Five Love Languages, Communication Research Reports, 23:1, 19-26, DOI: 10.1080/17464090500535822​​

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